Meology

Some of the Why's and How's that come about in our life just make you wonder sometimes. As always, my personal comment on each statement is in the parenthesis at the end. Hope everyone enjoys.

• Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are going dead? ( We are in denial and besides, it would take too much effort to change the batteries)
• Why do banks charge a fee on "insufficient funds" when they know there is not enough money?(Never understood this this one! They don't have to charge so much either!)
• Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet? (Yea, like what am I? A Liar?)
• Why doesn't glue stick to the bottle? (May have something to do with air?)
• Why do they use sterilized needles for death by lethal injection? (Have to spend more of those tax dollars!)
• Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard? (Ask Jane. Must be jungle magic)
• Why does Superman stop bullets with his chest, but ducks when you throw a revolver at him? (He's a big wuss!)
• We brush our "teeth" so why is it called a "toothbrush and not a "teethbrush' ?( No offense to all the hillbillies who actually do have only one tooth to brush)
• Why do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets? ( So you don't see their smashed brains)
• Whose bright idea was it to put an "S" in the word "lisp"? (LOL)
• If people evolved from apes, why are there still apes? (Uh? so people can keep on evolving?)
• Why is it that no matter what color bubble bath you use the bubbles are always white? ( It's magic!)
• Is there ever a day that mattresses are not on sale? (Yep! When I get ready to go buy a new one!)
• Why do people constantly return to the refrigerator with hopes that something new to eat will have materialized? (Isn't this classified as some sort of phobia or mental issue?)
• Why do people keep running over a string a dozen times with their vacuum cleaner, then reach down, pick it up, examine it, then put it down to give the vacuum one more chance? (Guilty I am)
• Why is it that no plastic bag will open from the end on your first try? (Because plastic bags are adult proof- ask a child to open it for you)
• How do those dead bugs get into those enclosed light fixtures? (maybe an idea for a science project?)
  
• When we are in the supermarket and someone rams our ankle with a shopping cart then apologizes for doing so, why do we say, "It's all right?" Well, it isn't all right, so why don't we say, "That freakin' hurt! You stupid idiot?" (Because many times it is your spouse or kids that ram you!)
• Why is it that whenever you attempt to catch something that's falling off the table you always manage to knock something else over? (Murphy's Law- let it fall!)
• In winter why do we try to keep the house as warm as it was in summer when we complained about the heat? (Hmm?)
• How come you never hear father-in-law jokes? ( Good question! Surely there are some out there?)
• And my personal FAVORITE...... The statistics on sanity are that ONE out of every four persons is suffering from some sort of mental illness. Think of your three best friends -- if they're okay, then it's you. (Now see, you didn't need to seek a doctor for that diagnosis!)
  

Below is the story of how one husband found out the hard way that sometimes, it is just best to go ahead and listen to your wife.

First of all, let's define marriage-Marriage is a relationship in which one person is always right, and the other person is usually the husband.

When the lawn mower broke and wouldn't run, my wife kept hinting to me that I should get it fixed. But, somehow I always had something else to take care of first: the truck, the car, e-mail, fishing, always something much more important to me than cutting grass.

Finally she thought of a clever way to make her point. When I arrived home one day, I found her seated in the tall grass, busily snipping away with a tiny pair of sewing scissors.

I watched silently for a short time and then went into the house. I was only gone a few short minutes. When I returned, I handed her a toothbrush.

Very puzzled, she annoyingly asked "And just exactly what is the toothbrush for?"

"Well!" I exclaimed, 'When you finish cutting the grass, you may as well go ahead and sweep the driveway."

The doctors say I will eventually walk again, but I will always have a slight limp.