Meology

They exists! Really they do. You will be shocked at some of the dumb laws that exist in our great states. I have went through and picked out some really good ones, while trying to stay in sync with the nature of this blog. However, some were just so freakin' dumb, I had to share. There are way too many to post, so if you would like to read more, just check out dumblaws for yourself where you can click on each state to view the laws. And while you are there, be sure to check out the dumb criminals section. Too damn awesome! These are the true idiots of our great country(and other countries too) at their best! I started with South Carolina because this is where I live. And according to some of our laws I am a criminal. Now, some of these laws must go way back, and have just never been modified or dropped, because in some states there are still laws from ancient times. Just so you know, we are all criminals and if some of these laws were actually enforced today, we would all be in jail!! My personal comments are in the parentheses and if anyone is offended by these, too damn bad!

Dumb laws:

• No work may be done on Sunday. (yippppeeee!!!)
  
• Horses may not be kept in bathtubs. (Dang! Where the hell else am I gonna put it?)
  
• It is illegal to give or receive oral sex in South Carolina. (I am definitely a criminal! After all, ain't this the way to a man's heart?)
  
• It is perfectly legal to beat your wife on the court house steps on Sundays. (I don't think this one is legal anymore???)
  

• All sex toys are banned. (For real? And sex stores are legal?)
  
• Donkeys may not be kept in bathtubs. (Ok, so where may we keep the humans?)
  
• No one may carry an ice cream cone in their back pocket if it is Sunday. (Was someone actually seen doing this?Idiot!)
  

• Ministers are to be dedicated to God and therefore are not eligible to hold a seat in either House of the Legislature. (Is this suggesting that politicians are liars and crooks?)
  
• Giving and receiving oral sex is still prohibited by law. (Not enough room in jail for all the criminals)
  
• Driving is not to be done while asleep. (Wake up people! It's the law!)
  
• Interracial marriages are illegal. (Then why are priests and courthouses marrying them?)
  
• The definition of “dumb animal” includes every living creature. (SO! Now we are ALL freakin' dumb!)
  

• It is illegal to sing in a public place while attired in a swimsuit. (Spring break in Daytona must be an exception!)
  
• Having sexual relations with a porcupine is illegal. (Someone had to actually be caught doing this for it to become illegal!)
  
• When having sex, only the missionary position is legal. (How boring!)
  
• You may not fart in a public place after 6 PM. (And just who is the fart officer that enforces this?)
  
• It is considered an offense to shower naked. (Offend me! Please!)
  
• Oral sex is illegal. (Wow! Is this a southern thing?)
  
• You may not kiss your wife’s breasts. (Yea! Whatever! They have breast police here too?)
  

• A man may not seduce a woman by lying, and claiming he will marry her.
• Adultery or Fornication (living together while not married or having sex with someone that is not your spouse) results in a fine of $500 and/or 6 months in prison.
• Unnatural intercourse, if both parties voluntarily participate, results in a maximum sentence of 10 years and $10,000.
• It is illegal for a male to be sexually aroused in public.

• Boogers may not be flicked into the wind. (The booger police live here?)
  
• Women are able to retain all property they owned prior to marriage in the case of divorce. However, this provision does not apply to men. ( So, this is where the law originated?)
  
• It is illegal for a driver to be blindfolded while operating a vehicle. (They can't be serious! Is there another way to drive???)
  

• When two trains meet each other at a railroad crossing, each shall come to a full stop, and neither shall proceed until the other has gone. (This law exists in several states, am I missing something here? I just do NOT understand how this works???)
  
• It is illegal to take more than three sips of beer at a time while standing. (Who's counting? The beer patrol?)
  
• Up to a felony charge can be levied for promoting the use of, or owning more than six dildos. (Does this include the sex stores that sell them?)
  
• A recently passed anti-crime law requires criminals to give their victims 24 hours notice, either orally or in writing, and to explain the nature of the crime to be committed. (This is why the police here catch all the criminals!)
  
• Homosexual behavior is a misdemeanor offense. (So it is true that only steers and queers come from Texas!)
  

• Any person who commits adultery shall be fined at least twenty dollars. (Is incest the same as adultery?)
  
• It is legal for a male to have sex with an animal as long as it does not exceed 40 lbs. (This state has serious problems! So, the internet videos ARE real!)
  
• Roadkill may be taken home for supper. (Not surprised about this one!)
  
• Whistling underwater is prohibited. (And this is done how?And it bothers whom?)
  

• If one is not married, it is illegal for him to have sexual relations. (State is full of criminals!)
  
• You may not have oral or anal sex. (There aren't enough jails in all the states put together for all these criminals!)
  
• Not only is it illegal to have sex with the lights on, one may not have sex in any position other than missionary. (And who is the sex officer responsible for being the peeping tom to catch these criminals?)
  

• Too many to post about sex in this state, visit the website to check those out!

• In Devon, Connecticut, it is unlawful to walk backwards after sunset.
• In Denver it is unlawful to lend your vacuum cleaner to your next-door neighbor.
• In Idaho it is illegal for a man to give his sweetheart a box of candy weighing less than fifty pounds.
  
• In Marshalltown, Iowa, horses are forbidden to eat fire hydrants.
• Hunting camels is prohibited in Arizona.

• I had a NC Congresswoman ask for an aisle seat so that her hair wouldn't get messed up by being near the window. (On an airplane!)I got a call from a candidate's staffer, who wanted to go to Capetown. I started to explain the length of the flight and the passport information, and then she interrupted me with, "I'm not trying to make you look stupid, but Capetown is in Massachusetts ."Without trying to make her look stupid, I calmly explained, "Cape Cod is in Massachusetts, Capetown is in Africa ." Her response - click
• A senior Vermont Congressman called, furious about a Florida package we did. I asked what was wrong with the vacation in Orlando . He said he was expecting an ocean-view room. I tried to explain that's not possible, since Orlando is in the middle of the state. He replied, "Don't lie to me, I looked on the map and Florida is a very thin state!" (OMG!)
• I got a call from a lawmaker's wife who asked, "Is it possible to see England from Canada?" I said, "No." She said, "But they look so close on the map." (OMG, again!)
• An aide for a cabinet member once called and asked if he could rent a car in Dallas. When I pulled up the reservation, I noticed he had only a 1-hour layover in Dallas .When I asked him why he wanted to rent a car, he said, "I heard Dallas was a big airport, and we will need a car to drive between gates to save time." (Aghhhh)
• An Illinois Congresswoman called last week. She needed to know how it was possible that her flight from Detroit left at 8:30 AM got to Chicago at 8:33 AM. I explained that Michigan was an hour ahead of Illinois, but she couldn't understand the concept of time zones. Finally, I told her the plane went very, very fast, and she bought that.
• A New York lawmaker called and asked, "Do airlines put your physical description on your bag so they know whose luggage belongs to whom?"I said, "No, why do you ask?" She replied, "Well, when I checked in with the airline, they put a tag on my luggage that said (FAT), and I'm overweight. I think that's very rude!" After putting her on hold for a minute while I looked into it (I was actually laughing instead). I came back and explained the city code for Fresno, CA is (FAT - Fresno Air Terminal) and the airline was just putting a destination tag on her luggage.
• A Senator's aide called to inquire about a trip package to Hawaii. After going over all the cost info, she asked, "Would it be cheaper to fly to California , and then take the train to Hawaii ?"
• I just got off the phone with a freshman Congressman who asked, "How do I know which plane to get on?"I asked him what exactly he meant, to which he replied, "I was told my flight number is 823, but none of these planes have numbers on them."
• A lady Senator called and said, "I need to fly to Pepsi-Cola, Florida. Do I have to get on one of those little computer planes?" I asked if she meant fly to Pensacola , Fl. on a commuter plane. She said, "Yeah, whatever, smarty!"
• A senior Senator called and had a question about the documents he needed in order to fly to China. After a lengthy discussion about passports, I reminded him that he needed a visa. "Oh, no I don't. I've been to China many times and never had to have one of those." I double checked and sure enough, his stay required a visa. When I told him this he said, "Look, I've been to China four times and every time they have accepted my American Express!"
• A New Mexico Congresswoman called to make reservations. "I want to go from Chicago to Rhino, New York ." I was at a loss for words. Finally, I said, "Are you sure that's the name of the town?" "Yes, what flights do you have?" replied the lady. After some searching, I came back with, "I'm sorry, ma'am, I've looked up every airport code in the country and can't find a Rhino anywhere."The lady retorted, "Oh, don't be silly! Everyone knows where it is. Check your map!"So I scoured a map of the state of New York and finally offered, "You don't mean Buffalo , do you?" The reply - -"Whatever! I knew it was a big animal."

Some more ponderings to pass along. Everybody loves to read ponderings. These are statements that make you wonder and think about why things are the way the are. Just don't spend too much time "pondering" because your brain might explode from thinking too hard!! (Just Kidding)

• If you take an Oriental person and spin him around several times, does he become disoriented?
• If people from Poland are called Poles, why aren't the people from Holland called Holes?
• Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery?
• Why is the man who invests all your money called a “broker“?
• Why are a “wise man” and a “wise guy” opposites?
• Why do the words “overlook” and “oversee” mean opposite things?
• Ever wonder about those people who spend $2.00 for one of those little bottles of Evian water? Try spelling Evian backwards: NAÏVE!
• Isn't making a smoking section in a restaurant like making a peeing section in a swimming pool?
• If a convenience store is open 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, 365 days a year, then why are there locks on the door?
• Why if you send something by road it is called a shipment, but when you send it on a ship by sea it is called cargo?
• OK ... so if the Jacksonville Jaguars are known as the 'Jags' and the Tampa Bay Buccaneers are known as the 'Bucs,' what does that make the Tennessee Titans?
• Why do they put pictures of criminals up in the Post Office? What are we supposed to do, write to them? Why don't they just put their pictures on the postage stamps so the postmen can look for them while they deliver the mail?
• If lawyers are disbarred and clergymen defrocked, doesn't it follow that electricians can be delighted, musicians denoted, cowboys deranged, models deposed, tree surgeons debarked, and dry cleaners depressed?

Here are some things to ponder about:

• Women over 50 don't have babies because they would put them down and forget where they left them.
• A friend of mine confused her Valium with her birth control pills... she has 14 kids but doesn't really care.
• One of life's mysteries is how a 2-pound box of chocolates can make a woman gain 5 lbs. - (can anyone answer this one?)
• My mind not only wanders, it sometimes leaves completely.
• The best way to forget your troubles is to wear tight shoes.
• The nice part about living in a small town is that when you don't know what you are doing, someone else does.(This is so true! Small town southern girls are the best! Yay Me!)
  
• The older you get, the tougher it is to lose weight because by then, your body and your fat have become really good friends.
• Just when I was getting used to yesterday, along came today.
• Sometimes I think I understand everything, and then I regain consciousness.
• I gave up jogging for my health when my thighs kept rubbing together and setting my jogging pants on fire!
  
• Amazing! You hang something in your closet for a while and it shrinks 2 sizes.(This is true!)
• Skinny people irritate me! Especially when they say things like...'You know sometimes I forget to eat!' .....Now I've forgotten my address, my mother's maiden name and my keys, but I have never forgotten to eat. You have to be a special kind of stupid to forget to eat!
• The trouble with some women is that they get all excited about nothing and then they marry him. (I am not so sure about this one, there are a few good men out there!)
• I read this article that said the typical symptoms of stress are eating too much, impulse buying, and driving too fast. Are they kidding? That's my idea of a perfect day!

Here are a few laws of sex, for those of you who need them. There are way too many to put in one post, but these are some of my favorites.

Laws of Sex:

• Sex has no calories. (Thank God!!!)
• There is no remedy for sex but more sex. (What I like to hear!)
  
• Sex is like snow; you never know how many inches you are going to get or how long it is going to last.
• The qualities that most attract a woman to a man are usually the same ones she can't stand years later. (Sad, but true sometimes)
  
• Sex is dirty only if it's done right. (Hey! I must be doin' something right!)
  
• When the lights are out, all women are beautiful.
• Sex discriminates against the shy and the ugly.
• Love your neighbor, but don't get caught.
• Sex is a three-letter word which needs some old-fashioned four-letter words to convey its full meaning.
• What matters is not the length of the wand, but the magic in the stick.(Mmmm?Maybe)
• Beauty is skin deep; ugly goes right to the bone.
• Never go to bed mad, stay up and fight. ( I have alot of experience on this one!)

Just passing along some funny stuff to my readers today. Hope everyone enjoys these:

• A rooster & a cat are walking over a bridge. The cat slips & falls in river. The rooster can’t stop laughing! What is the moral of the story? ------Wherever there’s a wet pussy, there’s a happy cock!
• *NEWSFLASH* Snow White has been chucked out of Disney Land. She was reported to have pulled up her skirt, sat on Pinocchio's face and shouted "LIE BASTARD LIE!"
• CUSTOMER NOTIFICATION!!!! As of August 1, 2008, Viagra will only be available by its chemical name, which was so appropriately named by the chemists who invented it. So please ask for “MYCOXAFLOPPIN” at your favorite pharmacy.
• Behind every SUCCESSFUL woman, there is a SATISFIED man, but behind every SATISFIED woman there is an EXHAUSTED man...
• When a man talks dirty to a woman, it's sexual harassment. When a woman talks dirty to a man, it's $3.95 per minute.
• CHINESE BUFFET MENU: **CHU SUM TWAT **SUCK MI PORK **LICK MI CLIT **TUNGSUM CHICK **GOO IN HAND **GULP SUM KUM **CHO KON IT*****ENJOY YOUR MEAL!*****

Listed below are actual scenarios that happened to real people. The "I" in each scenario does not refer to myself, but rather the person that actually told about each incident. The scary part is that these people are actually "walking among us" as you read this! Enjoy!

• I was at the checkout of a K-Mart. The clerk rang up $46.64 charges. I gave her a fifty dollar bill. She gave me back $46.64. I gave the money back to her and told her that she had made a mistake in MY favor.She became indignant and informed me she was educated and knew what she was doing, and returned the money again. I gave her the money back same scenario! I departed the store with the $46.64.
• I walked into a Starbucks with a buy-one-get- one-free coupon for a Grande Latte. I handed it to the girl and she looked over at a little chalkboard that said 'buy one-get one free.' 'They're already buy-one- get-one-free, ' she said, 'so I guess they're both free'. She handed me my free Lattes and I walked out the door.
• One day I was walking down the beach with some friends when one of them shouted, 'Look at that dead bird!' Someone looked up at the sky and said, 'Where?'
• While looking at a house, my brother asked the real estate agent which direction was north because, he explained, he didn't want the sun waking him up every morning. She asked, 'Does the sun rise in the North?' When my brother explained that the sun rises in the East, and has for sometime, she shook her head and said, 'Oh I don't keep up with all that stuff.'
• I used to work in technical support for a 24/7 call center. One day I got a call from an individual who asked what hours the call center was open. I told him, 'The number you dialed is open 24 hours a day, 7 days a week.' He responded, 'Is that Eastern or Pacific time?' Wanting to end the call quickly, I said, 'Uh, Pacific.'
• My sister has a lifesaving tool in her car designed to cut through a seat belt if she gets trapped. She keeps it in the trunk.
• I couldn't find my luggage at the airport baggage area, so I went to the lost luggage office and told the woman there that my bags never showed up. She smiled and told me not to worry because she was a trained professional and I was in good hands. 'Now,' she asked me, has your plane arrived yet?'
• While working at a pizza parlor I observed a man ordering a small pizza to go. He appeared to be alone and the cook asked him if he would like it cut into 4 pieces or 6. He thought about it for some time before responding. 'Just cut it into 4 pieces; I don't think I'm hungry enough to eat 6 pieces.'

Just in case my readers do not know, I have been widowed for over four years now. I am only a young 38 years old, but I do not guess I am ever too old to have a new boyfriend! But to my surprise, I have somehow managed to acquire five, yes five, new boyfriends! Let me tell you all about them:

The minute I wake up, Will Power so kindly helps me get out of bed.

Next, I go straight to see John.

Soon after, Charlie Horse comes along, and when he is here, he takes a lot of my time and attention.

When he leaves, Arthur Ritis shows up and stays most of the day. But because he doesn't like to stay in one place very long, he takes me from joint to joint.

And after such a busy day, I'm really tired and can’t wait to crawl into bed with Ben Gay.

One bright early morning, three Southerners and three Yankees were standing in line at a train station ticket counter. The three Northerners each bought a ticket and then amazingly watched as the three Southerners, for some reason, bought only one ticket.

'How are the three of you going to travel on only one ticket?' asked one of the Yankees.

'Watch and learn,' answered one of the Southern boys.

All six boarded the train and while the three Yankees sat down, the three Southerners crammed into a toilet together and closed the door. Shortly after the train departed, the conductor came around to collect tickets. He knocked on the toilet door and said, 'Ticket, please!' The door opened just a crack and a single arm emerged with a ticket in hand. The conductor took it and moved on. The Yankees saw this happen and agreed it was quite a clever idea. Indeed, so clever they decided to do the same thing on the return trip and save some money. That afternoon when they got back to the station, they bought a single ticket for the return trip and watched, while to their astonishment, the three Southerners didn't buy even one ticket. 'How are you going to travel without a ticket?' asked one of the perplexed Yankees.

'Watch and learn,' answered the three Southern boys in unison.

When they boarded the train, the three Northerners crammed themselves into a toilet and the three Southerners crammed into another toilet just down the way. Shortly after the train began to move, one of the Southerners left their toilet and walked over to the toilet in which the Yankees were hiding.

The Southerner knocked on the door and said, 'Ticket, please.'

There's just no way on God's green earth to explain how the Yankees won the Civil War.

I was absolutely stunned, shocked and in disbelief when I found out that anyone, yes anyone, can search for and view my driver's license online! It is bad enough that Google maps have stripped us of privacy in our homes, and now something as personal as your driver's license is easily accessible to anyone. Where have our privacy laws gone to? Isn't this violating some kind of constitutional law or right? Enough of my babbling! I know my readers just want the website address so they can see for themselves. And don't forget to check all your friends and family to see if theirs has been listed also. You will have the option to remove your listing from the database by a checkbox on the site. I will be writing my states lawmakers about this one!

Many people may not realize this, but your right foot is pretty intelligent. This is really cool and don't blame me if you get distracted for too long trying to work this one out! There is actually a way to solve this one, and my 17 year old daughter figured it out. Well, to tell the truth, the first time she done this, she didn't get it. Her foot did not change directions and the reason why is really very simple. Try it out and if you can't beat it, leave me a comment and I will reveal the solution.

How Smart Is Your Right Foot?

This is so funny that it will boggle your mind.
And, you will keep trying it at least 50 more times
to see if you can outsmart your foot. But you can't!!!


1. While sitting at your desk, lift your right foot off 
the floor and make clockwise circles with it.

2. Now, while doing this, draw the number "6" in the air
with your right hand.. Your foot will change direction!!!


I told you so.. And there is nothing you can do about it.
Make sure you pass this on to your friends...
They won't be able to believe it either!!!

The content within this post may be offensive to some people. If you are offended by stuff such as funny shit about sex, you should leave this site immediately and never come back!!! My hostility is in response to a negative review of my site by some old do-gooder woman that didn't have enough common sense to just leave my site but instead, chose to read much of my content. My true comment to this lady who said I should be ashamed of myself is "go get screwed lady!" It just may cure your old crabby ass! And just in case the ol' crab decides to visit again, this is for her!!!!!