Meology

Some more ponderings to pass along. Everybody loves to read ponderings. These are statements that make you wonder and think about why things are the way the are. Just don't spend too much time "pondering" because your brain might explode from thinking too hard!! (Just Kidding)

• If you take an Oriental person and spin him around several times, does he become disoriented?
• If people from Poland are called Poles, why aren't the people from Holland called Holes?
• Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery?
• Why is the man who invests all your money called a “broker“?
• Why are a “wise man” and a “wise guy” opposites?
• Why do the words “overlook” and “oversee” mean opposite things?
• Ever wonder about those people who spend $2.00 for one of those little bottles of Evian water? Try spelling Evian backwards: NAÏVE!
• Isn't making a smoking section in a restaurant like making a peeing section in a swimming pool?
• If a convenience store is open 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, 365 days a year, then why are there locks on the door?
• Why if you send something by road it is called a shipment, but when you send it on a ship by sea it is called cargo?
• OK ... so if the Jacksonville Jaguars are known as the 'Jags' and the Tampa Bay Buccaneers are known as the 'Bucs,' what does that make the Tennessee Titans?
• Why do they put pictures of criminals up in the Post Office? What are we supposed to do, write to them? Why don't they just put their pictures on the postage stamps so the postmen can look for them while they deliver the mail?
• If lawyers are disbarred and clergymen defrocked, doesn't it follow that electricians can be delighted, musicians denoted, cowboys deranged, models deposed, tree surgeons debarked, and dry cleaners depressed?

Many people may not realize this, but your right foot is pretty intelligent. This is really cool and don't blame me if you get distracted for too long trying to work this one out! There is actually a way to solve this one, and my 17 year old daughter figured it out. Well, to tell the truth, the first time she done this, she didn't get it. Her foot did not change directions and the reason why is really very simple. Try it out and if you can't beat it, leave me a comment and I will reveal the solution.

How Smart Is Your Right Foot?

This is so funny that it will boggle your mind.
And, you will keep trying it at least 50 more times
to see if you can outsmart your foot. But you can't!!!


1. While sitting at your desk, lift your right foot off 
the floor and make clockwise circles with it.

2. Now, while doing this, draw the number "6" in the air
with your right hand.. Your foot will change direction!!!


I told you so.. And there is nothing you can do about it.
Make sure you pass this on to your friends...
They won't be able to believe it either!!!

On the first day, God created the dog and told him:

'Sit all day by the door of your house and bark at anyone who comes in or walks past. For this, I will give you a life span of twenty years.'

The dog said: 'That's a long time to be barking. How about only ten years and I'll give you back the other ten?'

So God agreed.

On the second day, God created the monkey and told him:

'Entertain people, do tricks, and make them laugh. For this, I'll give you a twenty-year life span.'

The monkey said: 'Monkey tricks for twenty years? That's a pretty long time to perform. How about I give you back ten like the Dog did?'

And God agreed.

On the third day, God created the cow and told him:

'You must go into the field with the farmer all day long and suffer under the sun, have calves and give milk to support the farmer's family. For this, I will give you a life span of sixty years.'

The cow said: 'That's kind of a tough life you want me to live for sixty years. How about twenty and I'll give back the other forty?'

And once again, God agreed.

On the fourth day, God created man and said unto him:
'Eat, sleep, play, marry and enjoy your life. For this, I'll give you twenty years.'

But man replied: 'Only twenty years? Could you possibly give me my twenty, the forty the cow gave back, the ten the monkey gave back, AND the ten
the dog gave back; that makes eighty, okay?'

'Okay,' said God, 'You asked for it.'

So that is why for our first twenty years we eat, sleep, play and enjoy ourselves. For the next forty years we slave in the sun to support our family. For the next ten years we do monkey tricks to entertain the grandchildren. And for the last ten years we sit on the front porch and bark at everyone.

Life has now been explained to you.

There is no need to thank me for this valuable information. I'm doing it as a public service.

This is for all the ladies! Below is a letter written to tech support about the troubles of installing a husband. If you are a computer junkie, you will understand the whole thing. If you are not a computer junkie, skip over this post and go on to the next one. It is funny too.

• People who point at their wrist while asking for the time.... I know where my watch is pal, where the hell is yours? Do I point at my crotch when I ask where the toilet is?
• People who are willing to get off their ass to search the entire room for the T.V. remote because they refuse to walk to the T.V. and change the channel manually.
• When people say "Oh you just want to have your cake and eat it too". Damn right! What good is cake if you can't eat it?
• When people say "it's always the last place you look". Of course it is. Why the hell would you keep looking after you've found it? Do people do this? Who and where are they? Gonna Kick their asses!
• When people say while watching a movie "did you see that?" No Loser, I paid $12 to come to the cinema and stare at the damn floor.
• People who ask "Can I ask you a question?".... Didn't really give me a choice there, did ya sunshine?
• When something is 'new and improved!'. Which is it? If it's new, then there has never been anything before it. If it's an improvement, then there must have been something before it, couldn't be new.
• When people say "life is short". What the hell?? Life is the longest damn thing anyone ever does!! What can you do that's longer?
• When you are waiting for the bus and someone asks "Has the bus come yet?". If the bus came would I be standing here, dumbass?