TEQUILA CAKE....YUMMY!
1 cup of water
1 tsp baking soda
1 cup of sugar
1 tsp salt
1 cup of brown sugar
Lemon juice
4 large eggs
Nuts
1 bottle tequila
2 cups of dried fruit
Sample the tequila to check quality.
Take a large bowl, check the tequila again.
To be sure it is of the highest quality, pour one level cup
and drink.
Repeat.
Turn on the electric mixer.
Beat one cup of butter in a large fluffy bowl.
Add one teaspoon of sugar. Beat again.
At this point it's best to make sure the tequila is still
OK.
Try another cup... just in case.
Turn off the mixerer thingy.
Break 2 leggs and add to the bowl and chuck in the cup of dried
fruit.
Floor the friggen fried druit off up the pick.
Mix on the turner.
If the fried druit gets stuck in the beaterers just pry it
loose
with a drewscriver.
Sample the tequila to check for tonsisticity.
Next, salt two cups of sift. Or something.
Check the tequila.
Now shift the lemon juice and strain your nuts.
No wait..shtrain the lemon juice and shift your nuts.
Add one table.
Add a spoon of sugar, or somefink. Whatever you can find.
Greash the oven. Turn the cake tin 360 degrees and try not
to fall over.
Don't forget to beat off the turner!!
Finally, throw the friggin' bowl through the window.
Finish the tequila and wipe counter with the cat.
Last week, I baked a cake. Many people are probably thinking so what, who cares, people bake cakes everyday. Well, first of all, my name isn't Betty Crocker and I sure as hell ain't married to Duncan Hines. My baked goods usually come from the local grocery store bakery. Walmart, among other stores, do a pretty good job baking cakes and all the other good stuff that fattens you up. Back to my cake. I decided to bake a red velvet cake for a family member's birthday. We (me and my daughter) baked 8 layers for this cake, but only 6 of them would fit in the cake dome. All in all, it came out very good and my daughter was shocked! She actually liked it along with everybody else. Ha!!!! So I can bake thanks to Betty and Duncan! I use to think my mom was the best cook ever, until I grew up and started cooking myself. My mom is still great at baking though! A few weeks ago, she sent me a picture of a cupcake she made. A gigantic cupcake. Now, I guess my mind works and thinks just a bit differently than hers, but her gigantic cupcake looks a little explicit to me! And to top it off, she then tells me that she filled the middle of this masterpiece with "cream cheese pudding" of all things! Still laughing my ass off on this one!
